If Heaven Had Email

Matt, if heaven had email, I would email you each morning. As I sit with my coffee, where you and I once sat, you are, as always, on my mind. I want to talk to you; to tell you what's happening; to listen to you. Mornings were ours. The last of our mornings were not too good. I fussed at you; berated you about using drugs. "Please stop," I would say. Now I know you couldn't; not on your own.

Oh, how I wish I could look into your eyes again; to hug you again (and more often), telling you how very much I loved you. It's too late...you're gone.

If heaven had email, I would tell you how very sorry I am -- sorry that I didn't understand addiction; sorry I didn't help you more.

Matt, your Dad is near death. I have told him when it's time, you will come after him. He's very tired; very sick. I will not try to hold him back. He longs to see you too.

If heaven had email, I would tell you..."it's okay; you can come get your "Dude," as you called him.

You are forever dear in my heart...I will always keep you there.

I love you,
mom