Finding My Way

You can't pray your loved one back. You can't ask God to reverse your life to the "before," before it happened...to give you a chance to make it better...make it not happen. God doesn't do things that way. You have to climb that mountain..to regain your faith that there is, indeed, a God. Noone can climb it for you. My climb has been so steep, and my faith shallow. I questioned God...are You there? Is there REALLY a You?

My brother was home for a family reunion. We had lunch and talked. To be perfectly honest, I had never heard of the "New Earth." Had it been discussed in church or Sunday School? I don't remember. All I remember is he spoke of the New Earth...he described it to me... so vividly, his excitment showing through his words..and my head grabbed around it...I could feel my heart doing the same. I had visualized my husband and son in a big, white farm house and, somehow, this confirmed it. All of my family would be together again...we would be happy...there would be no tears, no heartache and thank God, no grief.

I'm not completely to the top of that mountain yet, but there is a hope taking the mountain's place. There's a fullness of heart There's a touch of spirit I have not had for a long time. My belief is returning...not my loved one as I'd prayed for...but a sense of relief...if I can only hold onto it.